Train number 1 from Butterworth to Singapore is known as the “Rakyat Express”. Its a 14 hour daytime trip leaving Butterworth at 08.00 and arriving at Singapore Woodlands at 22.00 the same day, and my final train trip of this journey.

06.00
An early start by taxi to Georgetown to catch the ferry back to Butterworth, then a short walk to the new station platform. Almost every train station in Malaysia seems to be newly built. The train is shunted into the station at about 07.30 ready for an 08.00 departure.

I’m travelling first (premier) class and there is one carriage of this, a restaurant car and about seven 2nd class coaches, most newer than the first class one I’m in. I’m sure it was once nice (in the early 80’s) but now its knackered. Its Korean built, like the Thai train I was on last week – this time by Hyundai.

Anyway, this is my home for the day, so I need to make the best of what I have. It looks like most people are going to Ipoh or KL. The guard inspects my ticket and smiles as if to indicate he’s got another madman on his hands. He tells me I’m going to be here for the day and I nod and smile back.

08.00
Now with an engine hooked up, some flag waving, whistle blowing and tooting of the horn we trundle out of Butterworth’s rail head and onto the main southbound line.

11.30
Bored, so I open my packed lunch from the hotel to add a dimension of excitement to the morning. Have I lost my train mojo? I think its hard to settle in as its too a long journey for a day train, but too short to be a sleeper.. Maybe I should have just gone to KL today?

14.00
Arrive in Kuala Lumpur. Everyone gets off apart from me and a family at the other end of the carriage. They clean the train, wash the windows, then let embarking passengers board. The carriage quickly fills with a Taiwanese tour group, I’m assuming bound for Singapore. 14.15 and we are off again.

15.30
I opt for a late lunch from the trolley service – fried rice and sweet black coffee for RM 8 (£1.49). Time for a film – “You Only Live Twice”. It sounds like an Alan Partridge “Bondathon” doesn’t it?

16.06

We pull into Pulau Sebang and the population of Taiwan in my carriage gets off – not sure what the draw is of this place, but its quiet again.

20.20
Pretty chilly on board so I have raided my suitcase and togged up. Less than two hours to run. Time for another film – “Zulu”. Amazing no matter how many times I have seen it. Note to self – must find factual book about Rourke’s Drift.

21.04
Arrive at JB Central and have a Malaysian immigration check – the officer hand writes an exit note in red pen in my passport – very old school.

21.45
Cross causeway into Singapore and get off at Woodlands CIQ. Processed in a way you would expect in Singapore – quickly, efficiently, and with courtesy. As a visitor I love Singapore. Taxi to my hotel who could not be more prepared for my arrival if they had rehearsed it. More of this in another post.

22.30
Ice cold pint of San Miguel in tapas bar opposite Raffles. It’s another “Ice Cold in Alex” moment. I feel I should be celebrating my train achievement but I’m a bit tired. My train trip finished on a train that I didn’t love, but that’s life on the rails.. I’m sure I will be back in touch with the bigger picture tomorrow!

It’s all very old school, and I’m sure if I spent very long here I would begin to think Great Britain still had an Empire. If you are travelling on my route and you have a big bag (or better still a trunk), this is the place you need to get out your Panama hat and linen jacket..or better still, a pith helmet! The hotel even provides a batman, who is charming and wears a black bow tie.

I don’t have too long to linger here though, as Ian from The Tropical Expat blog is taking me out to show me round – and interview me – he tells me as we drink a cheap but cold beer at a nearby roadside den.

Dinner is hawker centre style, where we both end choosing Syrian food (that tasted great) washed down with icy Tiger. Beer here is quite a bit more expensive than the last couple of countries I have been in, and I’m adjusting to this – a big Tiger here costs at least RM16 (£3).

Ian invites me back to The Penang Club for a drink where we discuss rail travel. The Penang Club was established in 1868 as an expat enclave in a very Victorian sort of a way. It retains this feel today, albeit now amidst a very different Penang. Like me, Ian is into the adventure of big rail journeys, so a good chance to compare notes. If you would like to read the interview, here is a link

When I get back to the E&O I contemplate going to “Farquhar’s Bar” for a nightcap, but decide against it as I might not be able to stop myself saying things like “Stop throwing those bloody spears at me!”..

06.52
I wake early, as before we hit the border the Thai restaurant carriage will turn back for Bangkok. Mr Grumpy converts all the sleepers back to seats and refits bedding ready for the next use. My purser sets up a table in front of me and advises me that my “full Thai” breakfast is inbound.

No problems to report in the night other than using the toilet, which is so wet that it might have a leech problem. I wish I had bothered to unpack my Crocs for this leg.

07.33
We have reached Hat Yai Junction. Other than Clapham, I always thought stations called “junctions” sounded quite glamourous (perhaps I’m mainly thinking “Bhowani”). There is much fried chicken coming on to the train from the platform, but seemingly little demand. I hope all those chickens didn’t die needlessly.

07.52
We have done an emergency stop and the guard has been hopping all over the outside of the carriage. Its quickly declared unserviceable. We think it might be the brakes. There is a mass exodus to another carriage that I hope its going to Butterworth. I have tried to enquire about our destination, but my new carriage guard wears an iPod so you cannot communicate with him. Come back Mr Grumpy, all is forgiven.. Anyway the carriage I was in 10 minutes ago has quickly been removed and shunted off. We are back under way.. I do a deal with a local currency trader in the carriage and learn he is actually an off shift Thai train driver.

08.35
We arrive at the Thai – Malaysian border station of Padang Besar. Everything comes off the train and we enjoy a short walk through Thai and Malaysian formalities.

The usual stamping of passports (no visas involved for me this time). Malay customs does a full search of my bags – I must look dodgy. Bit surprised I didn’t need to complete any paperwork – let’s hope that doesn’t present a problem leaving..

09.20
A rather clapped out looking KTM locomotive is attached to our two carriages (still running as the “Special Express”) ready to head south to Butterworth. The new guard on the two carriage train welcomes me to Malaysia.

The scenery on this journey has been great, but mainly spoiled by dirty and steamed up windows. Good train photography involves not just trying to shoot through dirt and reflections, but also missing telegraph poles and wires (unless they are there as an artistic touch of course!)

13.30 (local)
Once I remember to adjust my watch to GMT +8, I realise that we have arrived in Butterworth on time. Then it’s a short walk and just a half hour across on the local ferry and I’m in Georgetown, the colonial capital of Penang. Cost RM1.20 (30p), return.

I’m stopping here for a few days and will check in before my next rail leg on Monday – The “Rakyat Express” to Singapore. “Singapore Woodlands” to be precise – almost Singapore.. I’ll explain next week.

13.30
Bangkok Central Station is “old school” and pretty small, so despite a resident army of a few thousand protestors waiting to mobilise in the concourse, it was easy to get through. I was expecting to see an Army presence here but it’s clearly not a target, as the protestors have vowed not to close the railways.

No security, no ticket checks and straight onto the platforms. Then behold, there at Platform 5 – the “International Express” (aka “Special Express”) was already there and waiting, more than an hour before departure.

I should perhaps explain that it has this slightly glamourous name as it is the only truly international train route in Thailand, travelling daily down the coast to the Malaysian border. Here just two second class sleeper carriages go over and continue down to Butterworth. I’m in one of those – coach 3, berth 18 for the record.

The design of the carriages is functional but a bit odd – they are in fact originally Korean, but I’m not holding that against them. The air conditioning seems to work well and they look quite clean, despite their age. My biggest problem is that there is no big luggage storage spaces, so I’m going to be public enemy number one unless I can come up with a cunning plan.

The way it works is that the two seats convert at night into open plan upper and lower bunks – quite spacious. My interpretation of the seat numbering is that even numbers are the (bigger) bottom berth and odd numbers go up top. The lower berth actually costs a little bit more on this train.

My ticket cost 1210 Baht (£22) for a 23 hour journey in the bottom berth of a sleeper. I think I actually paid over the ticket price, just to get it issued early and delivered to my hotel, but it’s still a great deal. In passing, seat 18, my seat, is I think the perfect seat – in the middle of the carriage, so a smooth ride, and with four 220v sockets close by – the only ones in the carriage.

I have noticed that the second class carriages going to Butterworth are of more than one type. Carriage 3 looks newer, maybe with wider seats but less luggage space, but I suspect this is pretty random and nothing you can do about it when booking.

Breaking the mould for most Thai people, my carriage guard is so far completely miserable – he would almost be good enough to work on a Russian Railways he is so convincing. No help at all with my luggage issue, but at least he hasn’t thrown my bag off yet.

14.45
There are people moving up and down the train selling all sorts of stuff, but unless you speak Thai much of it is unrecognisable. A rather helpful purser has just offered me meals at my seat and the possibility of a beer later. I have ordered a full Thai breakfast with coffee (£3) for the morning at 7.00am, before we kick off border games. No one has materialised to sit opposite me, so my luggage problem seems to have gone away for the time being. I’m feeling better about this train as I settle in.
Mr Miserable (the Guard) is in fact okay when pushed and speaks a little English. My theory is that he perhaps wishes he was in the Army, and is practising looking as hard as he possibly can.

17.00
I’m in train travel nirvana again. The sun is setting, the purser has brought me along a big bottle of icy Chang beer (my favourite) and shown me the menu.

He even stops by to top up my glass every so often. This feels more like first class to me. I have the discovery edition of “Dark Side of the Moon” on full volume on my headphones whilst I watch the amazing views outside. I’m totally impressed with this train.

After a few hours I understand better the way our carriage is managed. Here is a snapshot of the team:

Carriage Guard – “Mr Grumpy” – inspects tickets, looks hard, walks up and down a lot, makes up bunks – white shirt and whistle.
Carriage Security – Para military man looking after immigration etc, lots of paperwork – brown shirt & .38 sidearm.
Carriage Purser – “Mr Helpful” – takes orders, deals with restaurant, serves you at your bunk – orange shirt & menu.
Carriage Cleaner – “YTS” trainee who does a though job cleaning as we go along – takes his job very seriously – bathrooms are kept immaculate – blue shirt & broom.

20.11

I have found the restaurant carriage (called, wait for it, the “Bogie Restaurant”) and it doesn’t disappoint. It’s teaming with life and characters. I have a four course dinner for 220 Baht (£4.50). There is really lively rock music and a party atmosphere here, so another beer is in order.

Just to spice it up even more, a charming but strangely tall woman has just sat down at the table opposite, and I’m fairly sure she is a “ladyboy”. What on earth would Alan Partridge do in this situation?! It’s all to much for me so I’m off to bed.

Assuming we safely pass through the FCO advisory trouble spots during the night, I shall update at breakfast. I figure staying awake isn’t going to lessen the very small risk of the train being hijacked or derailed by an IED.