It’s only a 10 minute ride in a cab from my hotel in Bang Rak, and as I pull up outside I can sense the collective excitement of other passengers doing the same thing. I don’t spot any buckets or spades, but Hua Lamphong is now a kind of a ‘bucket & spade’ railway station. The long distance express trains may no longer be here, but there is still a feel of adventure about the place. The departures board now has some unusual train numbers and in the soft light of after dawn passengers check their tickets and find the right train.

Friday is a public holiday in Thailand. It’s Father’s Day, and the birthday of the old king, famous for his love of the railway. To mark the occasion a steam train will take us to Chachoengsao for the day. Up front are two steam locomotives and a group of happy staff from the State Railway of Thailand (SRT). After a parade and much ringing of bells, the loco blows its whistle, a cloud of smoke envelopes the platform and we are off. People are lined along the track for several miles, and much waving is the order of the day.

The only problem with being a passenger on a steam train is that you can’t see the spectacle for yourself. The sight of vintage locos pulling the train is hidden from you, reserved just for the onlookers to admire. But onboard there is quiet satisfaction in knowing that you are being hauled by something special. It takes half an hour just to navigate the stops and crossing points in the city and our speed is slow, but that doesn’t matter. You can smile and wave out of an open window imagining you are an extra in The Railway Children or a Harry Potter film. On the line next to us a diesel locomotive escorts us, pulling a water bowser to resupply our boiler along the way.
Chachoengsao isn’t the most charismatic place in Thailand, but there is pretty river, a decent market and some good coffee shops to spend a few hours in before the return journey. After a long day out, the train arrives back in the early evening. Close to Hua Lamphong is Chinatown, perfect for a couple of cold beers and something interesting to eat to round off the day’s adventure.

Saturday is an even earlier start, and one of two excursion trains to Pa Sal Josalid dam, known as ‘the floating train’ owing to the appearance of it sailing along with seasonally high water levels either side of a long causeway. I’m on the cheaper of the two at 620 baht (£15) for a full day’s itinerary. This one is made up of all sorts of different carriages, and I’m in a ‘red’ one towards the middle of the train. This is Thai rail jargon for an ex Japanese second class sleeper coach, which makes for a comfortable daytime experience with semi private booths for every four passengers. The three hour journey to the dam fly by, and before long we stop in the middle of the reservoir at an ungainly angle to take photographs of our strange predicament on a camber. For me it’s a struggle to jump down onto the concrete from the height of the carriage. That’s probably why the train is equipped with lifebelts – better to be safe than sorry..

I get to enjoy some sightseeing and a good lunch with my rail family friends Philip, Richard and Kawao before it’s time to get back aboard.

I would commend these trains to you, and also some of the other options, like the more luxurious Royal Blossom train which includes sumptuous on board catering on its day trips. You can book them all in the normal way from the SRT website, but they tend to sell out as soon as they go on sale.

It would be great if dates were published a long way in advance, but sadly the SRT isn’t doing this to promote international rail tourism (yet). These trips are aimed mostly at Bankokians. But credit where credit is due, they provide a great excuse to use Hua Lamphong, to escape the steaming hot city, and to drive tourist dollars to places that need more visitors.

If you need more information on the routes, dates and prices I recommend you follow Richard Barrow’s Thai Train Guide

Many thanks to Philip S, Kawao & Richard Barrow with photographic assistance on this blog.

My journey to Vientiane starts at Bangkok’s now one year old Krung Thep Aphiwat Central Terminal Station. If you haven’t tried it yet it’s like an airport terminal but without any lounges or retail therapy whatsoever. The system works though. You form an orderly queue at a zone number and about 20 minutes before departure an announcement is made and the newly installed e-gates are opened. Monks first, then everyone else, a rag tag army, behind. It’s an escalator up to the platform – or a lift if you have as much luggage as I do.

Ready to depart on platform 2 is Special Express 25, one of the modern Chinese built trains, and the good news is that I have managed to book a first class cabin all to myself using the SRT app. You can now do this 180 days prior to departure for long distance trains, although I heard a rumour that it might get shortened again. Carriage 13 (the single first class sleeper) by protocol is at the rear of the train leaving Bangkok. The departure time is after 20.00, so my guard has already made up the beds. He’s a grand wizard at this – the sheet is drum tight and creaseless.

The overnight journey up to the border at Nong Khai is effortless, and I enjoy a Penang curry served in my room from the restaurant carriage. Sleep didn’t come too easily, but that was about jet lag rather than comfort. The pads they put on the beds are excellent – far better than on an airline in business class.

Arrival the following morning is on time at 6.28 am. I know this as it gave me just 2 minutes to disembark and get out my phone & credit card ready for the opening of the LCR railway ticket release for 3 days time. This is like trying to get a ticket for Glastonbury, but for trains. With my Thai telephone number all set up on the app it took me just a minute to book and pay – and I’m rewarded with seat 1A in the business class carriage. I am now the Richard Burton of Chinese trains – his seat on Concorde if you ever heard the stories.

The snag here at Nong Khai is that I’m going to change to the train running behind me, Express 133. This one goes all the way from Bangkok to Vientiane (Khamsavath), but that’s a bit of a con, as you still have to get off to do the Thai exit border formalities, and it’s not nearly as comfy as my train. Rail wisdom says get here earlier and change. But it’s 90 minutes late despite just following the route of my on time train. No worries. I wait with the soi dogs and a scattering of backpackers until I’m invited by the security man to proceed to immigration.

Eventually we get underway. Only 5 carriages of train 133 cross the border, pulled by a spotless but old local GE locomotive. A brief ticket inspection as we cross the mighty Mekong and we pull into Khamsavath station in about 30 minutes, where visa paperwork is handed out like confetti. It’s not hugely organised, but as a Western farang I get to wait in shorter queue. All goes well until the $20 bills I present are deemed not crisp enough. I find some more, also rejected, and with one more throw of the dice find two bills that finally pass the ‘just printed’ test. From here it’s just a bumpy 30 minute tuk tuk ride into Vientiane and the civility of a nice hotel room in a charming city.

This is a straightforward trip and a great way to connect two amazing SE Asian cities. I totally recommend it. Do take train 25 to the border until train 133 is upgraded – or maybe they will extend train 25 to run all the way to Vientiane one day..

My next leg is onward to Luang Prabang on the Laos China Railway in a few days time.

13.30
Bangkok Central Station is “old school” and pretty small, so despite a resident army of a few thousand protestors waiting to mobilise in the concourse, it was easy to get through. I was expecting to see an Army presence here but it’s clearly not a target, as the protestors have vowed not to close the railways.

No security, no ticket checks and straight onto the platforms. Then behold, there at Platform 5 – the “International Express” (aka “Special Express”) was already there and waiting, more than an hour before departure.

I should perhaps explain that it has this slightly glamourous name as it is the only truly international train route in Thailand, travelling daily down the coast to the Malaysian border. Here just two second class sleeper carriages go over and continue down to Butterworth. I’m in one of those – coach 3, berth 18 for the record.

The design of the carriages is functional but a bit odd – they are in fact originally Korean, but I’m not holding that against them. The air conditioning seems to work well and they look quite clean, despite their age. My biggest problem is that there is no big luggage storage spaces, so I’m going to be public enemy number one unless I can come up with a cunning plan.

The way it works is that the two seats convert at night into open plan upper and lower bunks – quite spacious. My interpretation of the seat numbering is that even numbers are the (bigger) bottom berth and odd numbers go up top. The lower berth actually costs a little bit more on this train.

My ticket cost 1210 Baht (£22) for a 23 hour journey in the bottom berth of a sleeper. I think I actually paid over the ticket price, just to get it issued early and delivered to my hotel, but it’s still a great deal. In passing, seat 18, my seat, is I think the perfect seat – in the middle of the carriage, so a smooth ride, and with four 220v sockets close by – the only ones in the carriage.

I have noticed that the second class carriages going to Butterworth are of more than one type. Carriage 3 looks newer, maybe with wider seats but less luggage space, but I suspect this is pretty random and nothing you can do about it when booking.

Breaking the mould for most Thai people, my carriage guard is so far completely miserable – he would almost be good enough to work on a Russian Railways he is so convincing. No help at all with my luggage issue, but at least he hasn’t thrown my bag off yet.

14.45
There are people moving up and down the train selling all sorts of stuff, but unless you speak Thai much of it is unrecognisable. A rather helpful purser has just offered me meals at my seat and the possibility of a beer later. I have ordered a full Thai breakfast with coffee (£3) for the morning at 7.00am, before we kick off border games. No one has materialised to sit opposite me, so my luggage problem seems to have gone away for the time being. I’m feeling better about this train as I settle in.
Mr Miserable (the Guard) is in fact okay when pushed and speaks a little English. My theory is that he perhaps wishes he was in the Army, and is practising looking as hard as he possibly can.

17.00
I’m in train travel nirvana again. The sun is setting, the purser has brought me along a big bottle of icy Chang beer (my favourite) and shown me the menu.

He even stops by to top up my glass every so often. This feels more like first class to me. I have the discovery edition of “Dark Side of the Moon” on full volume on my headphones whilst I watch the amazing views outside. I’m totally impressed with this train.

After a few hours I understand better the way our carriage is managed. Here is a snapshot of the team:

Carriage Guard – “Mr Grumpy” – inspects tickets, looks hard, walks up and down a lot, makes up bunks – white shirt and whistle.
Carriage Security – Para military man looking after immigration etc, lots of paperwork – brown shirt & .38 sidearm.
Carriage Purser – “Mr Helpful” – takes orders, deals with restaurant, serves you at your bunk – orange shirt & menu.
Carriage Cleaner – “YTS” trainee who does a though job cleaning as we go along – takes his job very seriously – bathrooms are kept immaculate – blue shirt & broom.

20.11

I have found the restaurant carriage (called, wait for it, the “Bogie Restaurant”) and it doesn’t disappoint. It’s teaming with life and characters. I have a four course dinner for 220 Baht (£4.50). There is really lively rock music and a party atmosphere here, so another beer is in order.

Just to spice it up even more, a charming but strangely tall woman has just sat down at the table opposite, and I’m fairly sure she is a “ladyboy”. What on earth would Alan Partridge do in this situation?! It’s all to much for me so I’m off to bed.

Assuming we safely pass through the FCO advisory trouble spots during the night, I shall update at breakfast. I figure staying awake isn’t going to lessen the very small risk of the train being hijacked or derailed by an IED.

I’m staying at the Shangri-La (an old haunt for me) – its a heavenly place, but at a price. A price so great that my dinner bill last night would fund the transport of no less than 80 people from the Cambodian border to Bangkok by rail. This is the moral and economic problem of switching from being a third class rail traveller to the life of a five star tourist.

The hotel has advised me not to travel far away from the lobby today (other than on its private boat). I wonder what their contingency plan is? – I bet that the men in very dark suits here have a good one. Perhaps a helicopter evacuation from the roof? Or more likely a big boat to take us somewhere safe.

I had almost forgotten that I don’t have any tickets for my next journey when an envelope arrived at my door from my agent in Bangkok with a ticket on tomorrow’s “International Express”, bound for Butterworth in Malaysia. Throughout this journey I have come to rely on local agents getting me the right tickets and delivering them to me when I arrive in new places. It’s been 100% effective and great to know someone is looking after things in the next port of call. I would recommend this approach if you want to work to a fairly fixed itinerary so you can get advance deals with hotels etc.

I have such a great view from my room that I’m going to throw a party here tonight. So far invites include only me, but who knows. I have found a store down the road that sells good cheese and wine. I’m not normally a cheapskate, but the pricing of alcohol in my hotel is just incredible.

Back on the rails tomorrow, for what I hope will be a comfy and fun penultimate leg. Fingers crossed it is a safe escape from this rather troubled place.